The Mother Ship

I'm writing this from A's gorgeous home in the mountain mecca of Presbyterianism. There are even a couple of Baptists in the neighborhood.

Montreat's one of those rare places where you can send your kids out to play in the creek after breakfast and not worry about them until they return home for supper at the end of the day. It's the kind of place where everybody knows the tune as long as it comes from a hymn. It's the kind of place where people say, "Bless your heart" and they usually mean it.

Montreat is one of those (Southern) Presbyterian places that can feel clubby though. It's safe and familiar to those of us who have come here for years. But it can surely feel closed to people who are not white, heterosexual members of a southeastern Presbyterian church. Like so many things we in the church love, Montreat can become something exclusive. Personally, I love exclusive. But "exclusive" is not exactly Jesus' message.

I'm doing a workshop this afternoon on Emerging Church 101, more or less. One of the things I've learned as we try to get out there making disciples even of people who don't look or act like us, is that we who love Montreat and pipe organs and Holy, Holy, Holy should be willing to give those things up if it means expanding the realm of God.

Expressing those words from this sacred place feels especially uncomfortable.

Can't we just have one place where everything feels safe and familiar and easy? Maybe. One of the people here this week is literally someone I've known all my life and talking with him about our families and life will be one of the highlights.

But there will be others with whom I have no connections, no history, no similarities - I hope. And maybe we will make a connection and create some history and discover that our differences make the church more interesting.

Shane Claiborne is keynoting a conference here later this spring - a sign that things are indeed opening up even on the Mother Ship.

Photo from the Peterson-Davis blog. Thanks K.

Details

As I eat and drink my way through N.C. on the way to Montreat, I'm starting to feel r-e-l-a-x-e-d. At last.

I'm noticing the smells - catching a whiff of honeysuckle or lilies on the roadside, burgers on the grill from someone's back yard. (Rental car has a sun roof.) Nice.

When we are crazy busy, there is no time to notice, much less pay attention to details. Beds go unmade. Ribbons go untied.

But I'm realizing that what makes a person excellent at what she/he does is in the details.

What makes a great home decorator? The plant in the corner. Perfect pillow on the chair.

What makes a great writer? Little descriptions that paint a visual. Words so beautiful you can smell the scene.

What makes a great gardener? The delicate plants tucked gently in front of the interesting shrubs. The nice rock between the ornamental grass and the vine.

So what makes a great pastor? A great elder? A great congregation? Is it all in the details?

• Not just a superior preacher but one who takes the time to lovingly convey an irresistible vision in every aspect of her work?
  
• Not just a compassionate elder but one acquainted with the beautiful theology behind his actions?


• Not just a faithful congregation but one that always notices the quiet worshipper, the under noticed need?

As I visit people along the way on this trip and notice the little details about the way they cook a meal or arrange pictures on the wall, it's clear that paying attention to details is one way we love God and each other. We love people enough to make the burger just right. We love God enough to spend time selecting worthy words. We love enough to make the bed and tie the ribbon.

Busy-ness destroys the ability to notice the details.

I know it's time for a break when I become too tired to offer the little details that make life excellent and beautiful. In fact, I confess before you and God that I am usually too tired to do this. Sabbath is my growing edge.

So . . . this week away, wouldn't it be wonderful - once and for all time - to discipline myself to forever honor a Sabbath each week? I need the church to hold me accountable to this.

Associations

. . . they asked his disciples,

"Why does he eat and drink

with tax collectors and sinners?"

Mark 2:16

The rectangular communion table in our sanctuary says "Do This in Remembrance of Me" along the front where people can see it. I would love to serve communion around a round table that said - both along the front side beam and on the table top: He ate and drank with sinners. Sort of like this but with the Mark quote.

The company we keep can either condemn us or bolster our Q Score. Our leading presidential candidates have both suffered in their associations with outspoken Christian pastors. Can the opposite also happen? Could we (the church) suffer because of the people who come through our doors? We certainly get a certain reputation if our congregation includes parolees or Supreme Court Justices or homeless people.

Ebenezer Coffee House - which is owned and operated by the National Community Church , which is best known for its Theatre Church which is lead by Mark Batterson who is an Assemblies of God pastor and increasingly well-known church leader - was mentioned in The Washington Post Friday as the location where a group called "America's Survival Incorporated" held a meeting to discuss "Barack Obama's anti-Americanism." Apparently they are planning this election's Swift Boating.

I'm not saying that the good people at Ebenezer condone groups that create lies. From their website it looks like any group willing to rent Ebenezer's space within their guidelines can rent it, so it's unfair to equate the ASI with this ministry. But I look forward to the day when we neither create associations for the purpose of slandering someone nor peg people because of the company they keep.

I'm not sure why we so easily forget the whole "he ate with sinners" piece of Jesus' ministry. Jesus was all about healing those sinners. I would hope that there is even healing between political groups this election year.

The round communion table was created by the Oregon-Idaho Conference of the UMC from wood salvaged from Gulfside Assembly, a camp destroyed by Hurricane Katrina.

The WhiteBoard Conference

I wrote earlier in May about registering for the WhiteBoard Conference ("1 Day, 8 Influential Speakers, 30 Minutes Each") and yesterday was the day. I mostly went because 1) I wanted to meet Beth and 2) I thought this would be something like the Alban event I attended several weeks ago - a variety of people sharing ideas and resources.

I returned home feeling something I haven't felt for a long time. I had just experienced a gathering of sisters and (mostly) brothers in Christ and there was a sense that I did not belong. One of the many blessings of the mainline is that women have been ordained for leadership in ministry for over 50 years - at least in my denomination. I got the sense that this was an unknown concept in most of the churches that attended WhiteBoard.

The first person I met was a guy named Bubba. (Really.)

Bubba serves a church that meets beside a NASCAR speedway. (Really.) He was an exceptionally nice man who brought me a pastry, but then he left early to go see the Indiana Jones movie.

The 8 influential speakers and the 8 people who introduced them were all men. Young, cool men.

There were young, cool women present too, but they registered people and sold stuff. One woman - introduced as a member of someone's church who worked as a flight attendant - gave flight attendant-esque hand signals to direct us to lunch. Cute.

When I attend events like this, it's really easy to sit there feeling judgemental or superior or angry. I sit there being all Presbyterian and everything, wondering if the pastor next to me can do Greek word studies like I can. Very obnoxious.

I liked the good humor and stories. I liked the passion.

But I was an outsider. I try to follow Jesus. I spend my life trying to make disciples. But I was an outsider at this conference.

One speaker stated that unrepentant sinners should be excommunicated. I'm pretty sure that would include me. Purity laws are, by definition, exclusionary. Sara Miles is most definitely a servant of Christ, but she would not be welcomed at most of the churches represented. This kills me.

There was a comment about "Adam and Steve." Several about abortion. Clearly it was assumed that God is male, pastors are male, humanity is basically male.

Having said this, I also need to say that the leaders present probably have no idea how exclusive they sounded. I'm thinking they are good people with holy intentions. But the t-shirt said it all. Still looks pretty phallic to me.

Remember

On Wednesday, I spent the day remembering.

FBC and FWC filmed a friend with dementia sharing what he remembers. I played the Terry Gross role.

Our friend shared stories from high school and college with extraordinary detail. He told us stories about his first work projects in his first job after college. He talked about travels and adventures, prompted by old photos. He talked about his first date with his wife. About the day his baby was born.

We also heard details from movie scenes, lines from commercials, lyrics from songs. It was all good. In fact, it was a privilege to hear it all, even though I've heard some of those stories so often that I can almost tell them myself. But one day he will probably not be able to remember.

It was a day we hope will result in a gift to his family. But it was a gift to us. We will remember it for a long time.

The Non-Negotiables

Negotiating is a godly thing.

When I talk with couples who are planning to be married, there are always some new marriage issues that involve negotiation: Where to spend the holidays. Where the dog sleeps.

And then there are the non-negotiables: Having kids (or not) is a big one.

Churches have non-negotiables as well. I remember Tony Jones being asked if Solomon's Porch baptized babies or adults and his answer was "Yes." Believers' Baptism versus Infant Baptism is not a deal breaker for that congregation.

I realized yesterday that there are two ecclesiastical deal breakers for me.

The first: Supporting Women in Ministry.

I have answered the 1 Timothy 2 argument countless times. I've studied scripture and preached about it. I've had basically the same conversation over and over again with relatives, conservative male pastors, conservative sisters in Christ, strangers on airplanes, visitors in worship ("Haven't you heard that the Bible says you can't speak in church?" as I'm standing there welcoming them inside, as if their comment will move me to slap my hand against my forehead and say, "What was I thinking? Here, why don't you preach the sermon.") At this point in my life, I would not be able to serve a church where I have to convince people that God approves of women in ministry. I'm done with that. It is my sacred assumption that God calls women to serve in and outside the church.

The second deal breaker became clear yesterday.

I was watching a trailer for JustLifeTV - a film series created by two guys I met last month - that looks really effective at connecting with people who are hurting/confused/recovering. It looked so amazing and edgy . . . until a single line in the trailer knocked the wind out of me. You can watch it here and try to guess which comment struck the fatal blow.

Or just keep reading . . .

I'm done with people assuming that GBLT people have "a condition" that can be repaired and that condition is their sexual orientation. Again, I've made the scriptural case. I've had the same conversations over and over again. I'm done with that conversation, at least as far as arguing about it goes. Again, it is my sacred assumption that God calls GBLT people to serve in and outside the church. I'm happy to talk about it but not to argue about it. With all due respect, I believe God has spoken. (And maybe I misunderstood that line in the trailer. But maybe not.)

Commencement Speakers

Coming from a faith tradition that highly values good preaching, I also like a good commencement address. Actually, a good speech can salvage the most boring graduation event.

Among the most interesting commencement speaker choices this graduation season:

Bruce Oreck of The Vacuum Cleaner Orecks - Adams State College

J.K. Rowling, Harvard

Chuck Norris, Liberty University

I did not go to one of those universities that invites the students to vote for their own commencement speaker. (Ours was the great Robert Coles.) But if we could have pitched ideas, I would have suggested Eudora Welty or Barbara Jordan (still alive in those days) or maybe Barry White because you know he would have sung something. I'd have liked to have heard what Marc Chagall would have said.

Today, I'd go for J.K. for sure. Or maybe Matt Damon. Definitely Stephen Colbert. Who is your dream commencement speaker?

Mosaic of former commencement speakers Jon Stewart (William & Mary 2004), George Lucas and James Earl Jones (AFI Conservatory, 2006), Matthew Fox (Columbia, 2007), Hillary Clinton (Pace, 2003).